Carnie Wilson Getting “Unstapled” Reality Show on GSN

I’m going to be hiding in a panic room for a few days to shield myself from the onslaught of angry GSN viewers regarding this nugget of information.  According to Josef Adalian and his always entertaining TV MoJoe column at The Wrap, GSN’s getting back into the reality show business.  Not the competition reality show like Survivor.  The really annoying kind like Jon and Kate Plus Eight.  Carnie Wilson, host of The Newlywed Game, will be featured in what they are calling a new docusoap called Carnie Wilson: Unstapled.  It’s looking to premiere in January right around when the previously announced Bob Eubanks-hosted episode of The Newlywed Game will air.

Unstapled will feature Wilson and her different roles as game show host, media personality, and family person.  We’ll also see her struggle with weight loss and that very public battle, trying to “turn her love of baking into a money making proposition,” and trying to start her own clothing line.

OK, I’m going to be as nice as I can about this but just be aware that I don’t foresee a great relationship with GSN after this little number here as this will be the only time we will cover this show at all?  Does anyone see a gigantic and colossal failure coming quickly with this?  I got word of this show a few months ago and I kept thinking, “With the success of the game shows and the failure of other things like the Awards, this thing has got to be passed on.”  I really don’t quite get the thinking behind this.  They are aware of the network’s past, correct?  They are aware that they tried this with Chuck Woolery’s reality show Naturally Stoned and that it really didn’t work out, right?  That after they tried all this stuff they eventually had to go back to game shows since that’s the only thing that was working, right?  I’m not doing this from a game show fan perspective completely.  This argument comes from the perspective of, “This has been repeatedly tried and it fails every time.  Why do you think suddenly it will work?”  This is nothing against Carnie Wilson who, in my opinion, is great.  It’s more along the lines of, “Did the first few giant failures of this not give you a hint?”

I mean I just don’t get it.  Going through the list of things said there are several items which are laughable at best.  First Carnie Wilson says they did focus group testing that showed viewers wanted more Carnie.  Focus group testing flat out doesn’t work especially for something like GSN.  Who did they test?  The 30 somethings that don’t watch the network or the 60 somethings who are going to be pissed and turn to Discovery/Hasbro’s new game show network when they don’t find what they came for?

Discussing the Awards in terms of expanding the brand isn’t necessarily the greatest idea on earth either.  It was panned by an overwhelming majority of people and the ratings flat out blew for it considering how much money it cost.  I’d be promoting, oh I don’t know, the fact that Catch 21 is still the highest rated thing this network has with a .46 rating, and that it builds from its lead-in, and touting it over town.  Or even that The Newlywed Game is doing well with a .42 and that it had the highest debut of any GSN/Game Show Network game show since around 2003 or 2004.  Or we can discuss how specials that didn’t fit the brand of GSN did very poorly so we’ll continue trying this cycle of failure.  The Awards were at least remotely oriented to game shows and they still disappointed.  This won’t be even close.

I really haven’t wanted to say this but with the impending Hasbro and Discovery game show network coming out, I feel it’s OK.  I truly don’t think the crew at GSN remotely understands what the viewers want to see in the long run (and frankly they don’t seem to care), and this pattern seems to happen every 4 or 5 years with them no matter who is in charge.  They had success with shows like Russian Roulette and Lingo, and then a few years later they tried reality before it failed and they had to go back to game shows which is where this current administration at the network took over.  They have success with shows like Catch 21 and Newlywed Game.  And we’re right back to reality shows.  The issue this time is the Hasbro/Discovery game show channel is going to be a killer to GSN because of who is running it.  They have the absolute best in the business working over there.  Once the viewers turn away from GSN this time because of a switch back to non-competition shows, no matter how little, they are going to have an alternate outlet to find game shows this time around.  I don’t know if I’d want to be taking a risk right now if I were them given the talent and resources Discovery and Hasbro have.

There’s a chance I’ll be wrong, but the history with this network trying to expand repeats itself over and over and they never get it through their skulls, and it’s getting worse since there’s not a single game show person left at GSN anymore.  This isn’t game show nerd talking.  This is common sense.  I hate to be unbelievably negative about the network but come on.  Actually this entire thing may be worse as we start covering another colossal mess: the High Stakes Poker situation, very soon.  Maybe we’ll try to throw something nice in between so we don’t get labeled as being negative about everything the network does again.